You could ( hypothetically ) just... y'know. Not Work today.

[ Cue small pfffft noise. ]

Yes, I know one of us has to be the responsible one and that's usually you.

But it would be nicer to just sleep in. It's raining buckets outside and the bed is super nice, okay?

Oh. My. God.

You literally forgot you already had this username hoarded these past few years, seriously? Well, good job on finally giving my beautiful face some recognition among all these other kids!

... I mean, if you're gonna leave me alone again anyway to "finally get to P2" after how many--and I believe--even more years of delay, I'm not complaining. You've got games to play, I've got games to play... Well, no, I'm not that version of me, I've got self-control, alright?

Consider yourself lucky you were born in this generation with all your shinier graphics or whatever! Technology marches on, and I'm back to my exile after the 20th anniversary celebrations. It's sad, but what are we gonna do. And it's not like you're going to let me get to a slot machine...

[ What was that about self-control? ]

You were done, you said, with me.

Though, why should I object to these antics of yours, I enjoy being brought out into the sunlight too much, you must understand, the sun and I are intimately acquainted, the sun has kissed my skin.

Do find time for me whenever you can, my mundane, I am not going anywhere, Naples is my harbour, my home. I will be waiting.

I am always waiting.

Come come, now, don't pull me off the shelf and then do absolutely nothing with me!

Let's go on an adventure together!

Ask the boy how to move forward.

So now that you're finished sticking your entire head up your own ass, I guess we can talk shop, right?

WRONG.

No, seriously. I'd be better off like, eating out of a buffet that only consisted of glass and cyanide than letting you tango with me again.

So let's just. Set aside the idea of mingling with another colony of degenerate lepers. I've got, like, an entire century of beauty sleep to catch up on. I feel like if I interrupt that I might catch the uggo bug going around here.

Mmmmmmkaaaay.

Mun, glad you finished the game. But I'm beginning to think I'm a burden to you...with you constantly pulling me out only to do nothing because you can't find anything for me.

...

You feel the same way about me? Why?

Mun can you please wipe that smirk off your face?
It's not like I'm ungrateful, actually I'm quite fond of places like Wonderland. I mean that place is practically a drug and a half by itself. It's just- a fairytale land? I was expecting something a little more wild. Like- that one game with the red rooms! You know what I'm talking about. Don't give me that look now, I'd rather be in a shite hole with a bunch of beautiful broads than talking to a caterpillar you understand?

What do you mean it's to late for that now? Mun! Nothing good comes out of fairytales, we're asking for trouble, just you wait.

Bro. Workout burnout is NOT funny.

Jump to win, not to lose, man.

Look, I get where you're coming from. Especially with... that iteration of him out there, you'd like to see more attention given to the original. But come on, don't forget the original was kind of a dick.

[Yes, Dante, but he's your dick.]

...Really? Grabbing the low hanging fruit today I see. Look, I've got a good thing going. I've got a job that doesn't involve property damage on a weekly basis, I'm actually socializing, and things are pretty dang okay right now.

Just let this one drop.

I'm not objecting to the idea of a vacation. Honestly, a break from all this- ...um, everything, would be nice. Great, even!


But a lot of these places don't seem very vacation-y. Kind of the opposite, really. Like a lot.

Also I'm getting the impression I wouldn't be able to leave? Cause that makes it less of a vacation and more of a kidnapping.

I can tell that you're sad, mundane, those are the powers you've given me. I can sense it.

And if you are sad, then it's my duty to keep your thoughts otherwise entertained. If this is the way, I will do it, of course.

Please know, you're not answering to me, the questions lie with you.

Sure, why not.

Though if it something that you are going to do, you should begin preparing now. You only have one week to get everything in order. The samples from before will most likely be too old by this point, and I am afraid that it might also be to late to effectively tag the newest one. Therefore, there's no time to waste and no room for hesitation.

Your emotional outburst was completely uncalled for.

You know full well that if—and that's if, not when, don't take that tone with me, a throwaway background mention doesn't constitute anything of note—if we return for the... I'm not even going to touch on the numbering system for our series installments because honestly, it's a larger mess than what the Castle Oblivion debacle ended up devolving into.

Regardless. You know that if we return for the upcoming installment, it won't be in any capacity greater than a supporting role. Which again I will remind you there have been examples thereof existing since the first installment in our series, the details of whose backstories still remain largely unknown.

[ look we all want to know what's up with KH version Sephiroth and Cloud okay, but that's different, they're FF canon with semi-copy and pasted backgrounds so that we don't know what does and doesn't still apply, and the apprentices! aren't. ]

And we've served our storyline purpose thus far. You are highly unlikely to gather new information about plot points that have long since expired, the Heartless experiments were mishandled and a thing of the past, no, I do not know what Ienzo is referring to when he deemed Dilan and I unstable—the nerve, really—but we were all recovering and that likely is in itself enough of a situation as it is, and attempting to emulate us in writing isn't going to lead you to any amazing new discoveries on what may or may not have happened, and what we all may or may not have been like.

What? It's in the very definition of the thing. You don't tread new territory when the object is to replicate. And that is what you are aiming for, is it not? Elsewise I would think the emphasis you all put on remaining true to canon rather paradoxical.

[ that just means one has to stay flexible, is all. ]

... Well. Congratulations. You've condemned yourself to Schrodinger's Canon. I hope you're happy with yourself, because this is foolishness.

[ oh good, he's stopped talking. that's a lot of words just to say 'this is a stupid idea and you're stupid,' thanks even. ]

How dare you make a network post with me intoxicated, insignificant human! I didn't mean anything I said in that post. I'm fine not getting along better with humans! As long as I have Kobayashi-san...

...Though she's not there....

Chocolat is teaching me everything I need to know for her; when I return, I'll be an even better maid than I am now!

 

I-I don't know what you expected, I...

Big sis...she's the one who's gonna beat everyone. She's the strongest in our whole universe. She's much stronger than I am.